BY: SHELLY HOWARD
Many of us, especially women, experience a lack of self-trust in our decision-making. We believe that there’s someone or something (like an artificial intelligence) who knows more than us. While that may be true in some areas, we can heavily index on this belief to our own detriment. We focus on instances where we were wrong, criticized, or rejected and dismiss or minimize times when we’ve been right, praised, and confirmed. It’s human nature to focus on the negative because these are the areas that require attention. However, the imbalance of negative to positive self-talk leads us to lose trust in our own judgment, even when there is no real evidence to do so. This can also lead to the inability for us to make decisions.
In my coaching, I often hear clients asking for my advice. My coaching is based on believing that my clients are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. You are the expert of your life. The information you need lives inside of you. My task is to help you reveal what that is to yourself. Along the way, you’ve learned not to trust yourself. I guide you on how to gain your trust back.
I work with my clients to become more confident by recognizing that they possess wisdom. In our experiences as well as in our bodies, we have information that provides us the evidence we need to make decisions from a place of ease and calm.
Strategies To Build Self-Trust
Noticing your patterns and gently shifting your mindset will allow you to take control and feel more confident. Here are some practical, actionable strategies that you can start using today.
1. Notice Behavior Patterns
The first step is just to notice when you let your lack of self-trust hijack your confidence. Pause, take a breath, and notice what you are feeling in your body. You may want to keep a journal or keep a jar and place a coin in each time you notice a lack of self-trust. You might be surprised by how filled the jar is by the end of a week.
2. Practice Positive Self-Talk
Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “I can’t do this, YET.” I love using this with my daughter to instill a growth mindset. It might feel awkward at first, but over time, this rewires your brain to focus on your strengths and your ability to learn and grow.
3. Seek Support and Mentorship
Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your potential. Mentors can provide guidance, encouragement, and perspective that help you navigate challenges with confidence. Finding a community of like-minded individuals, like the Crwn Network can provide support and encouragement.
4. Embrace Failure as Feedback
Failure isn’t the end; it’s a learning opportunity. When things don’t go as planned, ask yourself what you can learn and how you can improve. Everyone stumbles. It’s how we respond that defines our character.
5. Join Networking Opportunities
Attend workshops, seminars, or networking events. Engaging with others can help you gain new perspectives and build your confidence in social settings.
These are simple, yet not always easy steps. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend if you encounter difficulty. You are trying something new. That in and of itself is worth celebrating.
Accelerating your progress
If you’re ready to take your personal growth to the next level, consider coaching to accelerate your work in developing stronger self-trust and overcoming self-doubt. Coaching provides tailored strategies and support to help you break free from limiting beliefs and step confidently into your power.
Building confidence is a powerful tool for personal growth. It opens doors to new opportunities, strengthens your leadership skills, and helps you navigate challenges with grace.
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Shelly Howard is a leadership coach with a passion for helping women and people of color lead authentically.
I believe that women and especially women of color are equally capable as other leaders in the business world, yet they lack equal representation. I’m on a mission to change the way women leaders are perceived by supporting them to authentically navigate corporate and entrepreneurial spaces to achieve their goals through coaching.
My career at one of the top management consulting firms has shown me that meritocracy is a farce. Inclusion and diversity policies that lack accountability are nothing more than DEI-washing. When there is a lack of will to change culture in a meaningful way, employees are left frustrated and disillusioned. As a global ERG leader, I was known for advocating for policies that would create an environment of high standards that included empathy and connection.
Now, as a leadership coach, I help women and people of color to bring their best selves to the workplace, with their eyes wide open and focused on success, on their terms. Through transformational coaching with me that equips them with the tools and skills needed, women achieve the results they are seeking and the recognition they deserve.
